50 Shades of RS3 – An alternative story for the RS3 challenge.
What follows is a work of fiction, based on an almost true story, the inspiration for this was stolen from Rs3kel’s brief but to the point entry to the RS3 challenge. Please remember this is a story about one man and his car, any double entendre you read into this thread is entirely the product of your over active imagination and frankly filthy mind. Any resemblance to those living or dead is entirely intentional. All pictures remain the property of the owners with all rights acknowledged. I hope you enjoy the tale, for the hard of humour please flick your comedy switch on or change channels now. Please feel free to add your additions to this story.
50 Shades of RS3 - a tale of automotive obsession
I only went out to buy a shed.
My name is Christian Suzuka-Grey, business magnate and owner of an RS3. This is the story of how a chance meeting with ‘Anastasia’ a red Audi RS3 was to change my life for ever. The Maestro Turbo had served me well but was starting to look her age in front of my small and bijou house, it’s not much but I call it home. I hope you will all heed this warning and learn from my story of woe from becoming entangled with such a beguiling mistress.
I was on my way to the airport to take a flight to view a car. I’d seen something subtle and sophisticated that suited my personality perfectly.
Chapter 1 - A Chance Encounter
As I cruised past the huge glass window of the Audi dealer in the Maestro I felt my manhood stiffen as I set eyes on her for the first time.
I strode with confidence into the dealer. There she was and I knew I had to have her now, right now.
Her sleeker sister sat beside her and she clearly had the better TiTties but I wasn’t interested. I know the uglier one always goes and tries harder.
The saleswoman approached. I felt the frisson of excitement run over me. Soon she’d be mine and I‘d be inside her fresh virginal body for the first time. I fumbled with her at first, my finger slipping across and pressing her slippery silver button. The key shot out at the same speed as my rising heart rate. I eventually stumbled across the the right place to press and with a little light pressure she finally opened up for me. Soon I’d be inside; the excitement was almost too much.
To the sales woman’s surprise I entered her through the back door. The leather gave a final squeak of resistance as I eased in. The gap between her two ample buckets was tight but I pushed through. I wanted her to know who the driver was and that she’d been dominated from the start.
Chapter 2 Our first ride:
I knew which button to push as I moved my stubby shaft all the way back. Her muffled murmurs became a glorious guttural roar of delight. She placed her hand on my bulbous head and firmly moved my stubby shaft back and fore in her hand. Her actions were almost automatic. Slow down I pleaded, as the speed and friction increased. I’d been having trouble with my launch control lately and didn’t want to arrive prematurely.
I gently fingered her rim, tugging and tweaking in a smooth rhythm. I quickly brought her to a massive apex. She may not be the prettiest but she’s a flat bottomed girl and flat bottom girls they make the rockin’ world go round.
Chapter 3 - In deeper
Once I got her home I explored every inch of her inserting my foamy lance into her all her filthy crevices.
My fingers struggled to find purchase on her bonnet, smooth and waxed to perfection.
"Kiss my rings" she demanded. How could I refuse? :kissmyrings:
My only decision was which pipe to take? Choices choices? A chance to polish the dirty pipe once more? Rude not to.
She'd been a good girl so I strapped her down and thrashed her within an inch of her life.
Hurt me she screamed! So I put the Chris Harris M135i review on repeat loop and went to the pub.
Chapter 4 - The Affair
That was the day things started to go wrong. I have to admit to something of a roving eye and things were going so well until one day she caught me looking at other gorgeous models. First there was an incident with an R8. I couldn't Help thinking how much I'd like to split her flange.
Then she caught me, my gaze lingering too long on this shaven haven, a waxed clean and unadorned bottom does it for some. Apparently this one likes the experienced touch of the older gentleman.
Things really went wrong when she caught me doing some late night research, which some apparently call left handed surfing, on this detailing thread. How could I even look at another RS3? Was she not enough for me?
She gave me a final warning which I failed to heed. One day while visiting bluey for an afternoon ride there was an unexpected knock at the door. "Quickly, my owner" she said breathlessly, "use the backdoor". Really I should have run but that's not an offer you get everyday.
Chapter 5 - The Revenge
The next time we rode hard and fast she smashed my shaft. I was spent there was nothing more I could do to satisfy her. With an evil laugh she extracted her love balls from my broken member and continued to pleasure herself.
To get her revenge she wanted some black action. She was so disappointed to find it was all a myth and the looks hid a tiny 4 pot. No match for my throbbing pulsing 5 and she soon came home to me.
To teach her a lesson I spanked her hard and put her away wet.
Despite this things were never really right between us and on my next business trip away she met a loaded wrapper who could give her everything she wanted. After a nip and tuck the last time I saw her I hardly recognised her.
If only I realised what I'd got when I had it. Gentlemen RS3 owners I hope you will heed my tale and realise what a fine beauty of a car you have.
Probably to be discontinued...