Normal scenario. Got a puncture went to Kwik Fit
"Hello I've got a slow puncture"
"Ok sir we'll have a look at it. Vladamir have a look at this gents puncture."
"Anyone here speak English?"
"He said you need a new tyre because the puncture is too near the wall"
"It's two inches away!"
"Still to close, you need a new tyre"
Get in car and drive away
Went to independent tyre dealer near me (where I should have gone in the first place)
"Hello, I've got a slow puncture"
"Ok sir I'll have a look at it."
Takes wheel off car.
"It is quite close to the wall, i'll need to take the tyre off to see if we can repair it."
"Good news and bad news"
here we go
"Bad news is I can't do a puncture repair on it"
"and the good news?"
"We've got a special machine that will bond a patch of rubber to the inside of the tyre. We then cook it for 3 hours in a press and that should do you for the rest of the life of the tyre. It's a lot more expensive than a normal puncture repair though"
"What will it cost all in?"
"I'm afraid it'll be £18"
"hmmmmm, £18 or £150? You're a star. Get to it my good man"
Moral of the story is. Never go to Kwik Fit, they're a bunch of thieving immigrant <unts.
Second Moral, if you get a puncture near the wall don't just buy a new tyre, shop around the independents for someone with one of these fantastic machines.