What connector do I need.

reason is you have the half amped system, pop into halfords and get them to order in the lead from autoleads for you, cost's around £35 though althguh you can prop get off ebay cheaper. as for the no lights not too sure on that one. is it that it doesn't dim when you have your lights on or the fact it just doesn't light up full stop?

I wouldn't bother with the rear amp adapter. Just buy some speaker cable and rewire the rears directly to the Clarion. The rear amp is only 2 x 20w and the Clarion will be more than double that, so even with the right adapter the fronts will be twice as loud. the quality of the rear amp is also diabolical, so you'll get better SQ by using the Clarions internal amp.
You'll also need to swap the perm live and ignition on lives as Audi wire them back to front, so at the moment you'll lose all your station presets when you pull the keys out.