Cheers Woorlord, that puts the hat on it then, its going to be messy.
I would try then, to find another door trim the same (I know thats not easy) so then when you have to butcher your one it'll be easy to replace after its free and you get it open.
Sorry dodo mate, it looks a nasty problem from every angle.
One final suggestion, might not work, but I would feel bad if I didnt tell you about it....my B6 bootlid jammed shut - when it happened I thought it was still locked. I tried for days to unlock it with the key and the remote. Turned out to be the rubber seal was sticking so tightly I had to pull really hard and it opened with a horrible ripping sound....but did no harm. Took a LOT of force to get it open tho.
I sprayed silicone spray around it and that cured it. My Alfa door used to stick shut solid, but it was the rubbers too - why not try unlocking it twice wi the remote just to be sure its all released, then - from inside - push on the door with your feet, near the B post edge so you get maximum leverage, heck even booting it with both feet (aim carefully lol) you might just bust it open. The deadbolt is in the door mechanism, not the car body anyway so at worst you would need a locking mech as well as the door controller, but you cant fix it if you cant get in, and I know i'd feel stoopid if it was just sticking and I butchered the door card without trying that
WI the handbrake off, gearlever in 3rd, there should be enough room to get your legs swung across the console, sitting in the drivers seat crosswise, and shut your door to give you something to push against.