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Thread: I can't be the only one...

  1. #1
    DJ-S3's Avatar
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    I can't be the only one...

    Who else checks their cars regularly for bird poo? I do it when I wake up to make sure there isn't any left to bake into my paint work. Then at dinner.

    I don't use my car for work. I have a work van. So it's just sat there all week until the weekend. I had one day last week where the bird poo must of been on my paintwork for 1hour max! But it was like 28degrees and the light was reflecting off the garage door and windows. The little square where the car was parked gets very hot. Like mid 40s when it's just constant sun. Well within that hour it's left like a scar mark on the paint work. Was really f**ked off!! Can't get rid of it either. 2big splats on the bonnet.

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    I certainly don't do it that regularly!! But I do have a garage!

    Depends what the birds have been eating - have you ever seen a swan dump

  4. #3
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    I don't check it that often but I do check. Can't be having that damaging the paintwork!

    It's lucky I can park on the drive at my house because directly outside is a telegraph pole which millions (slight exageration) of birds sit and **** from. My Dad's the unlucky person who has to park underneath it
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    I have left bird sh1t on my car for over a week and left no marks behind. This happened when I went on holiday came back to a car covered in it.

    After I wash the car I polish and then wax the car using colonite 915. Whether this has protected the paint I don't know but certainly doesn't leave any marks.

    I once made the mistake of wiping off hard dried bird poo with toilet roll. I ended up scratching the paint surface however the light scratches came out with a deep polish and wax session.



  6. #5
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    if I ever leave out outside at night and not in the garage, I pretty much always walk around it next morning, fairly frantically too...

    Also the same with carparks, I walk around when I get back from shopping checking for dings. OCD much...
    Sevv likes this.
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  7. #6
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    I don't really check for bird ****, but yea in car parks or anywhere I inspect the whole thing for marks or dings from other careless idiots!

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    Mate, I live 500m from the seaside and my car is on the street parked all day. I don't commute so it's sat quite out there quite a lot. And, it's the only target apart from another black car in the street. Seagulls just seem to love to dump their fish and chip poohs on my car. Especially when it's just been washed.

    Absolute *******s.
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    Good wax helps prevent that from happening.
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  10. #9
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    Not only bird muck removed asap but all the fly and bug kills on the front bumper and wing mirrors get removed asap on mine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAiLO View Post
    Good wax helps prevent that from happening.
    Not the crapping obviously, but the paintwork being damaged
    danb986 likes this.

  12. #11
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    DA or rotary polisher will get rid of that or if you like sweating your gonads off.....do it by hand....phew!!!!
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    There was poo on my bonnet this morning in the car park bloody pigeons! I used one of my business cards to scrape it off...
    immo likes this.
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  14. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brodster View Post
    DA or rotary polisher will get rid of that or if you like sweating your gonads off.....do it by hand....phew!!!!
    Tried that already, hand polish. Only for 5minutes though. It already had a full coat of wax. Thought it would do some sort of protection.

    There's a berry tree outside my house. And they fly from my house to my garage and crap all over my car. Usually after I've washed it. I need a gun! Or to chop the tree down. Lol

  15. #14
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    When my house was new 18 years ago there was a tree sapling planted beside my drive, it was the first thing to go.

    Strangely I used to get bombed quite a bit with my last Silver car, but this Blue one rarely, if ever, gets hit! My O\H's silver car now gets all the attention. I'm also anal about walking around the car in Car Parks - especially if I noticed a different car beside me or someone with little\no obvious driving ability maneuvering nearby.
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  16. #15
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    I honestly don't have the time of day for checking scratches in car parks etc! **** happens. Excuse the pun
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  17. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by immo View Post
    I honestly don't have the time of day for checking scratches in car parks etc! **** happens. Excuse the pun
    I always do a walk round 😁
    A3 Sportback 2.0 TFSI S-Line Quattro Stage 1 Tune it up - Lowestoft Custom Remap- 6187 RPM developing 260 bhp 279lbs ft Akoya Silver, Roof rails, Black heated Vienna Leather, Bose upgrade, Bluetooth

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    get a car cover if you only use it weekends

  19. #18
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    At the moment by car is **** covered because im parking under a tree to avoid sun turning the car in to a sweat box
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  20. #19
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    Trust me you dont want seagull s*** on your car.

    That stuff literally sucks the life out the paint. Ive tried to da polish/compound it off however the spot still there. I think ill have to 2000 wet sand it.

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    Top tip for when you find a nicely dried on bird turd.
    Go and make a cup of tea, when you have finished with the tea bag
    take it whilst still hot and wet out to the car and place on the turd.
    Go inside and drink your tea, when you've drunk your tea go back outside
    and by then the rock hard perma crud will just wipe off. with a damp sheet
    of kitchen roll or a sponge. Tea ia alkaline and poo is acidic so it helps to
    neutralise it too.
    Sounds mental but works, give it a try. My wifes car gets coated every single
    day in her parking space in Bristol which she pays for each month.
    It's an allocated numbered bay so she can't move elsewhere either before any
    bright spark says 'why does she park there then?'.
    I have cleaned many many a turd. She is to be allocated a new space next
    month as I have created merry hell about this with them.
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  22. #21
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    So many of these posts have made me laugh. Not for the fact that people are OCD about their cars (I'm the same to be honest), but just how they're worded. So many classic lines, like grr666's "I have cleaned many many a turd" .
    Maybe it's just my humour.

    Anyway, I'm with you all on this one. I always panic when I see a bird crap on my roof.
    And my wife laughs when I pull into a parking space only to drive out again if I don't like the look of the car next to me or the space looks a 'little tight'.
    I've tried parking in an empty edge of the car park, usually about a kilometer from the shop and any sort of nature, but when I return the whole area is still empty apart from the car full of child seats that's parked so close to me that I need to do a Matrix style manoeuvre to get back in the car.
    At work they've got used to the fact that I park right over the centre of the white line, so people can fling their doors open as far as they like and they can't reach me anymore.
    Sevv likes this.
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  23. #22
    The Governor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mjr901 View Post
    if I ever leave out outside at night and not in the garage, I pretty much always walk around it next morning, fairly frantically too...

    Also the same with carparks, I walk around when I get back from shopping checking for dings. OCD much...
    I do the same

    I carry a spray bottle in the car with me and a roll of kitchen roll, that way if I spot anything I can get it off as quickly as possible...

  24. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by danb986 View Post
    And my wife laughs when I pull into a parking space only to drive out again if I don't like the look of the car next to me or the space looks a 'little tight'.
    Yup, I do that as well. My other half can't seem to get her
    head around why... But she looks good in a bikini so I tolerate it.
    danb986 and immo like this.
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  25. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by danb986 View Post
    And my wife laughs when I pull into a parking space only to drive out again if I don't like the look of the car next to me or the space looks a 'little tight'.
    I do that too, mine has got used to it, she usually check before getting out now. Sometimes I'll park, turn the engine off, then rethink and move the car :D

    Quote Originally Posted by OVR70N
    I always do a walk round
    I always do a reach around.

  26. #25
    The Governor's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by danb986 View Post
    And my wife laughs when I pull into a parking space only to drive out again if I don't like the look of the car next to me or the space looks a 'little tight'.
    I do that too, mine has got used to it, she usually check before getting out now. Sometimes I'll park, turn the engine off, then rethink and move the car :D

    Quote Originally Posted by OVR70N
    I always do a walk round 😁
    I always do a reach around.

  27. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by grr666 View Post
    Yup, I do that as well. My other half can't seem to get her
    head around why... But she looks good in a bikini so I tolerate it.
    +1 late for a hospital appointment the other day and I drove around till I found an 'end' space!
    A3 Sportback 2.0 TFSI S-Line Quattro Stage 1 Tune it up - Lowestoft Custom Remap- 6187 RPM developing 260 bhp 279lbs ft Akoya Silver, Roof rails, Black heated Vienna Leather, Bose upgrade, Bluetooth

  28. #27
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    West Yorkshire birds.......... Full of toxic sh*t.

  29. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by OVR70N View Post
    +1 late for a hospital appointment the other day and I drove around till I found an 'end' space!
    There's a car park in Watford where my brothers been round and found all the spaces that are slightly larger than others and will actually drive round and round until one becomes free. He has got an Aston so people seem to understand more.
    Now: 2010 A3 SB S-Line Black Edition 2.0TDi 140CR. Panther Black
    Retro'd: Black S-Line badges | Private Plate | Come home lights activated | Fogs as corning lights activated | Hill hold assist activated | TPMS (via VCDS) activated | 3.5" s/s tailpipe | LED interior lighting.

    Gone: 2007 A3 SB Sport TDI 140. Dolphin Grey




  30. #29
    mjr901's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Governor View Post
    I do the same

    I carry a spray bottle in the car with me and a roll of kitchen roll, that way if I spot anything I can get it off as quickly as possible...
    +1 spray bottle and microfibres, wet wipes(kept in wheel well) for emergency use only.

    The other day a bird had shat through the flaming passenger window (must have left it open a crack whilst in the shop) and down the inside of the door card.

    Poop in the window runners aswell!!

    So I didn't even see the poo when I came back from taking the 'long way' around the car to get back to the drivers seat, and ofcourse never thought to look inside the damn thing for it.

    So we'd set off......immediately, I pulled over, Mrs couldn't believe I had to clean it there and then, emergency stash came out.

    I mean WTF, what are the chances??
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